I went to the doctor this past week and learned that I have gained some 30 pounds in the past year. (My doctor calls it happy marriage syndrome...and...well....I'm sorry, this does NOT make me happy).
Now, I knew over the summer I had been pretty bad...eating whenever and whatever I wanted (because I had worked so hard all year, right?) So, I knew the number would be a little higher than it was last year. But I'm sorry, excuse me, WHAT THE....WHAT?! I only went up one size over this past year...WHERE IS THIS WEIGHT ON MY BODY?!
Not acceptable.
On my way home, I felt overwhelmed and terribly discouraged. And guess what I wanted to do? Get something to eat. Something to take my mind off of the sadness and disappointment in myself. Being married to a man who actually looses weight without trying and who would have to eat every minute of the day to gain anything, it seemed impossible to reverse, impossible to fix.
After my wallowing, I had to be a grown up. I had to figure out a way to change my eating -- a way to change my life, to be quite honest. Decisions have to happen. Now. As I cried out to God, I realized that this is just another issue of surrender.
So. After talking (ashamedly) to Josh about my visit, I signed up for Weight Watchers the very next day. I have heard many good things about the program...and to be completely honest, I need a tool to guide me through this. It would be stupid to think I can do this on my own. The past few days have been difficult, but revolutionary. Now, I can know the impact something I eat will have on my progress. All I have to do is type it into the Weight Watchers app on my phone and viola! It's 15 points, so no go OR it's only 1 point, so go for it!
On another positive note, my perfectionist nature really lends itself to staying within my daily points and if I go over, I know this same nature will bring me great disappointment.
Now food is flying out of my cabinets. I want nothing white--no white pasta, no white bread--and nothing that is not low in fat. Josh was then sent on a mission to buy everything whole grain, everything fruit, everything vegetable. For lunches, I had him buy Lean Cuisine (at most one of these meals is 10 points), and I have been pinning Weight Watchers recipes like crazy on Pinterest.
I have also reverted back to my college ways, and am 30-Day-Shredding-it with the help of Jillian Michaels (paired with the swimming).
So. This is day one of keeping a log of my progress. And I need the accountability.
No comments:
Post a Comment